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… I have.
And at one point in my Life, I thought I was the only christian to experience this. But I have found out that many Christians not only experience this too, but they are too ashamed or afraid to seek help simply because they feel that this is something that Christians should not go through.
Although this is true, It is not realistic.
Yes we are Christians, but at the same time we are human as well. This is why the Bible tells us that God sends his spirit to help our human infirmities.
(Romans 8:26) In the same way the Spirit also comes to help us, weak as we are. For we do not know how we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with God for us in groans that words cannot express.
But too often we feel that because we are Christians, automatically we are immune to our human infirmities… but this is just not so.
Is what I would continuously ask myself. But what is interesting is that I Never asked myself this before I became a Christian. (Now I wonder why?) lol
But It is as if I would do everything I knew how to do in order to please the Lord, but no matter what I did I felt as if somehow, It wasn’t enough.
I would find myself praying about the same things, almost like a CD on repeat only to worry about them even more after I had finished praying.
As humans, we immediately begin to seek reason.
These are all the things that I watched travel through my mind and to my heart.
(And of course, the enemy tried to add many more thoughts.
Some seeds we immediately reject, but some… we may not. )
So one day, I felt that I had a complete mental breakdown.
My spirit was at an all-time low, and I felt as if I had nothing more to give.
And on top of that, I was wrongfully disappointed with God…
Why? because I was living under the false precept that by becoming a Christian, I was now immune to the suffering that comes with being human.
Somehow, It had crept into my Life and from there It crept into my heart.
No doubt it probably started as a seed, something happened that shook my faith in his word.
But instead of me taking that seed of unbelief captive, and then destroying it…
I simply captured it, and Ignored it.
And With that one mistake, the seed began to grown and spread like a cancerous cell within my spirit.But God showed me that it was my unbelief that was allowing the enemy a place in my heart and in my life.I was so worried about my goals, desires, and ambitions that I let that seed grow and grow until It got too big for me to handle. It took the power of God and his word to chop it down.
But continuing the story…
After I had prayed earnestly for what seemed to be weeks, and got no response; I felt as If I was mentally in distress.
But Just as I reached the point where I thought I had mentally gone off the deep end…
God stepped in and began to teach and Instruct me.
But he didn’t answer me the way I was expecting him to,
Instead he allowed someone to say 3 words to me that just spoke volumes to my spirit.
And those 3 words were…
“Just Have Fun!”
It helped because It showed me a pivotal concept about God.
And that concept is that sometimes….
WE TRY TOO HARD.
Let me explain.
How would you feel if you child continuously came to you asking to do Chores, and when you ask them why do they want to do them they reply…
“Because I want you to Love me”..
God doesn’t want you driving yourself crazy because you want to please him. Understand that you already ARE pleasing him just by believing in his Son!
Sometimes God will give us a glimpse of the great things that he has in store for us, but that doesn’t mean that these things are going to fall into place tomorrow.
God just likes to give us a glimpse of it so that we can have something to look forward to in the future!
But as humans, we don’t want to have to wait for God’s blessing… WE WANT IT NOW!
In the Bible, God promised Abraham that he and Sarah would have a son although they were beyond their child-bearing years,
but Abraham would not have Isaac (his son) until another 25 years AFTER the Lord had promised him this.
In the midst of waiting for his promised son (Isaac),
Abraham and Sarah got a little impatient. And then they began TRYING TOO HARD.
They were Trying to fulfill God’s word themselves! So Sarah called her handmaiden (Hagar) and gave her to Abraham so that he could help fulfill God’s promise to him.
So Long story short, Abraham went in unto her and Hagar conceived and bare him a son.
Basically, It was A chaotic mess.
When Abraham tried to help God keep his promise, It resulted in Strife, confusion, and Error.
He had to step in and Fix the help that Abraham tried to give him.
We must learn to be patient and trust not only God, but we must learn to trust his Timing as well.
God had already laid out our Journeys long before we were born, all we must do is continue to live and to seek God’s.
Don’t continue to pull your hair out (like I did) because you think you are NOT in the will of God.
If God has already seen your Life from beginning to end…
how can you NOT be in his will when you are trying to live to please him?
But he did not start his ministry until he was 30 years old!
Can you imagine what that must have been like for him at the age of 25?
Knowing that he is the son of God but that It is not time for him to begin his ministry.
I personally would have been bouncing off walls because I would be so ready to start casting out devils and raising the dead to preach the kingdom!
(Now lets look at the opposite side of that spectrum.)
Can you imagine how Jesus could have felt at the age of 25 knowing that in just a few years he would die an agonizing and painful death?
How could he sleep? How could he Rest?
Answer: He trusted God.
Jesus knew that Doubt comes from Fear….
And Fear comes from Unbelief.
So In everything you do, Trust God.
It is not his will for you to live your Life in fear, but it is his will that you enjoy this life in him. You have no reason to worry or fear, for God is our refuge. He is our hope and our Joy!
So the next time you feel as if the walls are closing in on you,
remember…. Just Have Fun! 🙂